More specifically...my fear of judgement. In my 43 years I am fully aware this is a core fear on this planet. But the past few years it has just been in my face. Time and time again I find myself stalled in some area of my Life and when I get quiet I realize my fear of being judged is what's putting on the brakes.
Here I am again...but this time I'm going to declare it....all of it.
I am afraid of being judged for:
-wanting to be a writer, screenwriter, and film maker
-not getting a 'real job'
-having a child with Down Syndrome and still wanting to have another baby (future blog post)
-getting older and not being more 'successful' (whatever the fuck that now means in this economic climate)
-wanting to self-publish
-wanting to blog about my paranormal experiences
These are the big ones that are slowing down my creativity. I have all this time to write and work on projects since both kids are in school but when I sit down all I have is a trickle. I feel like when I had less time the words poured out of me.
The truth is I am standing at a crossroads...now is the time to pursue my dreams. Do I allow fear of judgement and a bunch of other excuses to hold me back or do I take a breath and keep moving forward.
**deep breath**
-I will write everyday and not judge myself by how many words I put down. I will see blogging and social media building as 'writer tasks'.
-I will let go of my limited definition of a 'real job'. I'm getting a paycheck and that's enough.
-Having another baby is still a possibility.
-Getting older will continue to happen. (I am successfully getting older!) LOL! Success is growing in Self-awareness and I am great at that!
-As for self-publishing I just signed up for Who Dares Wins Publishing's Writer workshop on 'Self-Publishing'. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming....
-I have been blogging about my own paranormal/metaphysical experiences, just not publically. I will now just hang it out there! (New posts coming soon.)
What's holding you back? Cheers, Susette
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